In Response To Your Letter

I got the letter that you sent
but I don't know what I should say-
especially since apparently
you don't want a thing from me.

So here you have it,
all the nothing I can give.
But, I must admit
I'm no good at writing emptiness.

It scares me some
how dumb I am.
I don't know if I'm in love,
I just know that I can't be again-
and I don't even know if I regret it.

So glad to hear you're doing great
but I'm sorry I can't say the same-
there's no music in my heart anymore.

That's not to say that you're to blame, though I'd like to.
You're the stain that I adore.
You're my sweet and tender whore.

It scares me some
how dumb I am.
I don't know if I'm in love,
I just know that I can't be again-
and I don't even know if I regret it.

How could I regret it,
someone that I never had?
Memories of feelings
are the only thing I get.

Bubsie, I can't take it anymore-
breathing these poppy-sweet pretend "I love you's."
Kenzie, I dreamt I was standing at your grave
where I could finally see your real face.

I'd never wish you dead
in a 100,000,000 years; instead,
I'll pull paper to pen
to get these vapors from my head.

I know you love me
because you always write it at the end.
Even though I know it's bullshit
I'll just pretend.

It hurts me some
how dumb I am.
I'm loathe to be in love
and I know that I can't be again.
And I don't even know if I regret it.

How can I regret it,
this something that I never had?
These memories of feelings
are the only thing I get.

Bubsie, I can't take you anymore.
Breathing your poppy-sweet pretend "I love you's."
Kenzie, I dreamt I was standing at your grave

where I could finally see your real face.